How To Be A Good Mother…. Like Me

Last night, Channel Four aired a TV programme about 6 very different mothers who all believed that their way of parenting was the best and what made them a good mother.

First up was Super SAHM Charlene! Charlene has 6 children, and all by the time she was 27. They were all home births and she home schools all 6 of her offspring. She has been pregnant and breastfeeding for the past 11 years, managed to write a book, makes and sells her own Stretch Mark cream and has a washboard, stretch mark free stomach to die for! (N.B – get some of that cream!!). Charlene is now expecting baby number 7.

Next we met ‘Continnumum’ Daria. Daria is not a fan of baby products (cots, bottles, pushchairs etc). She and her husband co-sleep with their 16 month old daughter, and have done from birth. She plans to breastfeed her daughter for as long as she wants it and is also a ‘wet nurse’ to mums who have problems breastfeeding. Daria doesn’t like nappies (obviously not on herself, ‘coz that would be just wrong). She believes in what she calls “Elimination Communication” where she observes her daughter for signs of when she needs to wee/poo.

The programme goes on to meet placenta mad Lynnea. Mumpreneur Lynnea believes that placenta’s should be used after birth instead of incinerated and has set up her own company making “Placenta Capsules” for women from their own after birth. She believes that eating raw afterbirth (mixed with fruit to make a smoothie) straight after birth stems blood loss. Lynnea also idolises natural birth and believes that Cesarean sections harm babies by pumping them full of chemicals then ‘ripping’ them out of their mothers womb. She goes on to say that she does not have a good emotional bond with her own mother and cannot look her in the eye, because she herself was born via c-section.

Next up is the full time working mum, Fiorella. Fiorella is super organised and uses the latest technology to micro manage her day to day life. She is the Queen of Apps and has plenty on her iPhone. Fiorella admits to having a Nanny to look after her son but insists that the Nanny must call/text her every day and send her pictures. Every lunch time Fiorella schedules a ‘conference call’ with her son during her lunch break.

Then we meet Aimi, the over protective mother to a 14 year old son…. and a Stripper. She was a single parent for 11 years before marrying. She doesn’t care what other parents think of her, and has an enviously close bond to her son, although she can be rather embarrassing, especially when her phone rings/texts.

Lastly we meet ‘Wicked Stepmother’ Antonia. She confesses that she never wanted kids, she doesn’t particularly like kids and finds them creepy. That is until she married her husband, become stepmother to his 2 children and then found herself pregnant! She compares bringing up a baby to having a dog (I can’t see the comparison, but never mind). She refers to her daughter as her ‘friend’ and says that she enjoys her company and finds her daughter interesting. Alarmingly though, stunt-woman dress maker Antonia, doesn’t think twice about going on a bike ride (on the road may I add) with the children wearing no helmets!

Now, I’m not criticising any of these woman. They all believe what they are doing is right and its obviously what works well for their families. However, I can’t see how any of them are any better than any other mum out there. I’m sure they are all good mothers within their own right. Isn’t that all us mothers ever want to inspire to? To be a good mother? To raise our children to be good, honourable citizens? I just cannot see what it is about these 6 women that makes them more outstanding? What does make a good mother?

Charlene seemed the most ‘normal’ out of the bunch and I found myself becoming rather envious of how she just seemed to take it all in her stride. She was so laid back, well she’s got to be to home-school 6 kids. And that stomach..that’s not normal…right?

Lynnea really saddened me. Having had 2 c-sections I felt it incredibly upsetting that she suggested that you couldn’t bond with your child after it was ripped from you. My 2nd c-section was not my original option, but due to complications it became my only and safest option for my daughter to be born. We are extremely close. I hope she never needs a c-section!

Daria, Aimi, Fiorella and Antonia weren’t so bad and I could possibly see a little bit of my way of parenting in all of them. I breastfed A up until just a week ago at 14.5months and we too co-sleep. However she does have a cot and a pushchair, and wears a nappy!! I like making lists, I have a fair few apps on my phone and I like (well try) to be organised. I can be over-protective at times, and although i wouldn’t consider my children to be my ‘friends’, they can be good company…and sometimes my only company.

Now, if you took something of all of them, except perhaps placenta lady Lynnea as that is just plain creepy, you could well have a recipe for a really great mum….. like me (well, I think so anyhows)

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. goldilocksandmythreebears
    Jan 12, 2012 @ 16:19:25

    How I'd love to have the right mix of all of them. I'll pass on the placenta, thanks – what's next? Placenta iced tea?

  2. Rachel Gully
    Jan 12, 2012 @ 17:49:48

    Yeah I think I'll pass on the placenta too!!

  3. The Princess Poet
    Jan 15, 2012 @ 15:10:44

    I didn't see the program coz I stay away from such things..they'd only annoy/make me feel bad. I like you do a bit of both. In respect to c-sections, I think it is less to do with how you were born and more to do with how you are raised. are you loved unconditionally? shown healthy boundaries? and as for the placenta,i am thinking of encapsulating my next one after more research, my friend swears by it and she seemed to cope better with all the postpartum stuff!it can't hurt to try right?

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