Pregnancy & Infant Loss Rememberance Day

Today, Sataurday 15th October 2011, is Infant and Baby Loss Rememberance Day.

It is a day where we remember all the babies that did not make here and were either lost before, during or after birth. As well as the infants that were taken too soon from their parents.

Having suffered 2 miscarriages myself, this day is really important to me.

Miscarriage itself still seems to be such a ‘taboo’ subject and people feel like they can’t talk about it. This shouldn’t be the case. I talk about my angels all the time, and even though my pregnancies didn’t make it past the first trimester, I named my babies.

In my eyes, I have 5 babies, not 3. Two of our children do not walk this earth, but it does not mean that they are not my children. I carried them for those precious few weeks, and I “gave birth” to them.

Losing a child should not be brushed under the carpet! It should be spoken about and there should be necessary help available. Unfortunately, there seems to be little compassion when it comes to baby loss in pregnancy. When I lost my angels, I had to sit amongst heavily pregnant women, and couples coming out from their scans with utter joy etched on their faces at having just seen their healthy baby upon that screen in the darkened room. I was there knowing that my children had passed away inside me. That I could not do my job as a mother, and keep them safe! I wasn’t offered any after care.

The Baby Loss Awareness Campaign and the ‘Wave of Light’ also aim to reach out to health professionals and care workers promoting awareness and understanding of how losing a child affects a family, and community.

You can try to sympathise with someone, but until you have lived it, you will not truly know how it feels to go through the loss of a child. Whether it was in early pregnancy, late pregnancy, at birth, after birth or further on, it is part of you.

Here is my story of my 2 angels, which can be found at their memorial garden I set up for them.

After having 2 children already, we always wanted more.

On the 15th February 2009, we discovered we were pregnant! We were scared and excited at the same time. Two weeks later at 7wks pregnant, Mummy got a sharp pain in her belly. I went up to the Early Pregnancy Unit and was scanned. We were told that there was a 5wk old sac, and that they were not sure if our dates were wrong or if we had lost you. We were told to return in 2wks. That was the hardest 2 weeks ever. We were hoping the dates were wrong and that we would see your little heart beating at our next scan on the 12th March. It wasn’t meant to be and you had left us. It was heart breaking to hear those words. We decided to let you pass naturally and arranged to go back for a re-scan in 2wks. Those 2 weeks passed slowly, the scan date arrived and confirmed that you had started to leave Mummy. It was soul destroying to see on the screen. I wish that I could keep you forever safe but you had to go. I wanted to wait again, but after 5 days I knew that you wasn’t going to leave on your own so I made the hardest decision ever…to have you taken from me. Daddy couldn’t come down to theatre with me and I just remember crying so much. I didn’t want them to take you away, but it was time for you to go. We miss you more every day and it gets harder as your Due Date gets closer. We never knew what sex you were and we thought you was a boy. That was until Mummy went to see a clairvoyant and she told us that you were a girl. Another little Princess. RIP Our Angel Keoni (taken from Mummy 01/04/09 – Due 10/10/09)

2 months after losing our Angel we discovered we were pregnant again. Oh how thrilled Mummy and Daddy were that we were getting given another chance, and you were so very wanted. Everything went well from the start! We were told by Doctors and Midwives that there was no reason to have you leave us….how wrong could they have been!! When you should have been 11+6 Mummy had a tiny bit of bleeding but the doctors reassured her that it was nothing to worry about and we were looking forward to seeing you at our scan in a few days time. 3 days later at 12+2 Mummy had a big bleed and knew something was wrong. At 12+3 Mummy lost a lot more blood and knew that you had gone. Our scan was the next day so we went along anyway. The sonographer scanned Mummy’s belly but couldn’t find anything. She did an internal scan and found you…but it was too late. You had left us 6wks earlier. It was so heartbreaking to yet again be told that our baby had gone. Mummy couldn’t even look at the screen. I’m so sorry I couldn’t look at you. We were sent home to wait for you to pass. I can’t believe that you were taken from us too. We never knew what sex you were, but in my heart I believe you were a little boy, and that was confirmed when Mummy went to a Clairvoyant and she said that you were a boy. Another little Prince. RIP Our Angel Luka(Left Mummy 02/09/09 – Due 12/03/10)

RIP Angels….play together nicely…..We Love You Soo much!

All our Love, Mummy, Daddy, Big Bro Jake & Big Sis Kyla xxx

So, today, think of all those parents and families that have lost a child. Remember them. Hold them in your thoughts and your prayers. Light a candle for them or release a balloon. Whatever you do today, Remember those sweet angels and their families. I know I will xx


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